Introduction to Yourself
by Yami Y666
Summary: [YY BR, oneshotter] Written for Kuramarulez, this is set in the same universe as DP a sort of alternate event, if you will. Set during the winter holiday season, Yami and Bakura find themselves in a very strange situation and without their other halfs.


**A/N**

**Note**: Alas, this is a one shot, but hurrah! This is a spin-off from Dark Passions. Hope you guys enjoy this holiday fusion. Contains a couple of spoilers for the main story…Nothing too major. You should be fine if you've read up until the most recent installment. **Happy holidays**!

**Note2**: Please **_review_** and tell me if I got to where I was aiming at!

_Dedicated to Lily-chan, Kuramarulez, for being an awesome writer and friend! I love beta-ing for you! _

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**INTRODUCTION TO YOURSELF**

_"This is _so_ not my fault."_

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"Well, I didn't think _everyone_ would want to come!" Yuugi wailed for what seemed like the hundredth time as he stomped into the bedroom he and Yami shared, his darker half marching right in after him.

"Well, you should have thought of that when you invited Ryou...Within earshot of _both_ of those other lunatics!" Yami replied, his expression becoming increasingly more ticked.

Yuugi hid his wince as he bent over their suitcase, doing some last minute packing. It's not like it was his fault that vampires had such good hearing. And how was he to know that Bakura and Marik had been just around the corner?

"What was I supposed to do? All that cloak-and-dagger crap is _your_ department." Yuugi couldn't help it; sometimes, Yami just ticked him off _so damn much_. Like now.

"You insolent little human!" The other almost shrieked his outrage evident in the rising volume of his voice. "How dare you speak to me that way?"

"Like _this_!"

Without warning, Yami suddenly found a rather heavy and bulky pillow colliding with the side of his face, and he couldn't hold back the curse that flew out of his, usually so elegant, mouth. "Damn you!" He shouted from his position on the floor, "What the hell did you _put_ in that pillow?"

Yuugi let out a nervous giggle as he cautiously made his way over to the vampire's side and began edging the 'pillow' away. "It's, uh, nothing. Just a normal _pillow_, Yami. What are you talking about?"

"You," Yami narrowed his eyes, "Are a horrible liar."

"What?" Yuugi shouted indignantly, all of his cautiousness forgotten in the face of his hurt pride. "Well, you don't do much better!"

"And who was the one that saved your butt when that old, superstitious deli man wanted to put you in the display? What was it he said?" Yami paused, then grinned. "Ah yes, 'It's good for business! Come on, Mr. Yuugi, show some sacrifice!' Ah, if only he'd known...

"It's funny though, how he didn't figure out that I was a vampire while he knew the moment that he saw you, that you used powerful magic. Well, he knew that you used _some_ magic, in any case."

"Shuddup," he pouted while Yami almost fell over backwards laughing. Yuugi replied, "Hey, what about last week? When you were trying to hide your soft side when you bought all those presents for our friends, the same people that you claim to 'hate'. I _know_ you don't. Give it up, Yami!"

"Never!" One of his fists landed on the pillow between them, and with that, their attention was once again on it, or rather a large, cloth-wrapped package that Yuugi was still trying to futiley move out of the vampire's range. "You give it up, Yuugi! I want to know what's in that thing!"

"It's nothing, Yami. _Nothing_," He tugged it back from the vampire's grasp. "What part of that don't you understand?"

"All of it," Yami replied. His tone implying what would happen if Yuugi didn't comply, his hands once again reaching for the package currently hidden behind Yuugi's back. Yuugi scooted back another foot.

"Let go!" Yuugi whined, his strength already failing him while Yami decided then would be a good time to take advantage of his vampiric powers.

"I _said_," Yuugi reiterated again, his voice becoming hard and determined, "Let _go_!"

He gave a hard jerk on the package and surprised Yami, who actually did let go at the exact moment that Yuugi yanked. Naturally, Murphy's Law could not be denied. The package suddenly found itself unnaturally airborne as it flew through the open doorway and down the hall while Yami and Yuugi looked on, slack-jawed.

Both of them blinked in surprise when suddenly someone began to curse vehemently and the sound of his angry footsteps could be heard as he made his way down to their room.

"What the hell?" Bakura barked as he stomped in, a hand on his forehead. "I don't remember you ever greeting your guests this way, Yami. See what you've done to him, Yuugi? You've screwed up his brain!"

"I-" Yuugi began but then Ryou peeked out from behind Bakura and he forgot what his excuse was.

"' Kura...What have I told you about behaving yourself?" He admonished. "Isn't it bad enough that you set that poor deli man's shop on fire after he said something about magic?"

"You can never be too careful, Ryou," Bakura shot back as he surveyed the other couple's bedroom.

"Wait a minute," Yuugi began to smile in glee. "Are you telling me that the bane of my existence is no more?"

"Hey! I thought _I_ was the bane of your existence!" Yami suddenly protested. "You know...Like you are mine?"

"Eh..." Bakura paused in confusion and glanced back and forth between the two. "Yes?"

"Hallelujah!" Yuugi exclaimed and shot to his feet. He looked down at Yami. "Don't worry, Yami. No one makes my life a living hell like you do."

"That's better," Yami smiled and stood up to give his lover a hug. That hug quickly progressed to a kiss, which led to a more intense kiss, then more intense 'hugging'...Ryou looked away before he could blush.

"And I thought we had problems..." Bakura muttered while Ryou leaned up to whisper in his ear, grinning.

"Well, I think we've got our own insane streak too, Bakura."

To his own mortification, Bakura felt heat starting to rise to his face as flashes from their previous activities went through his mind. So, he decided to end the little 'party' Yami and Yuugi were having, before he did anything he'd need to kill someone later for. "Eh Yami! I didn't come for Show-and Tell! Now let's _go_, already."

Yuugi giggled and detached himself from a sulking Yami. As the four of them made their way out of the room, Yuugi leaned up to whisper in Yami's ear. "I've got a present worthy of my personal demon- Or should I say vampire?- But, I think it goes without saying that we'll continue _this_ later."

Yami grinned in anticipation but replied. "Don't think you're off the hook about not telling me about that thing you hit me with- Where did you put it, by the way?"

Yuugi grinned knowingly. "You know, magic does come in handy sometimes..."

The vampire made an expression that could have almost been called a pout before returning to his earlier sulk; neither of them noticed the laughing couple trying to hold it in, walking in front of them.

They continued to walk along hallways that doubled back and forth and twisted in on themselves because according to Bakura, "The old geezer who built the place was too paranoid for his own good. I, of course, did my part in helping him get out of it. I still don't know why it didn't work out..."

They stared at him for a minute before Ryou tried to strike up another conversation. Of course, with two grouchy vampires, it was proving to be quite a challenge, so Yuugi joined in for some entertainment. Unfortunately, conventional methods were proving to be ineffective, so...

They had moved on to doing anything to get a reaction out of either Bakura or Yami. And that meant delving deeper, and touching topics that bordered on infuriating. All targeted towards the two very unfortunate vampires stuck with the pair of very curious and very bored human mischief-makers. And Yami told Yuugi as much.

Yuugi immediately let out a dramatic gasp and faked a faint, caught at the last minute by a giggling Ryou. The questions continued.

"And if the two of you have been alive all this time, how come you keep saying you've not had any lovers before us?"

"Well, not any _real_ lovers," Bakura squirmed, for once eyeing Yami for help. The other vampire just shrugged, completely muddled by the missile-like questions.

"So that means neither of you have been in love, then?"

"Not _true_ love," Bakura said again, this time elbowing Yami rather painfully.

"Not really any kind of love at all," Yami forced out while rubbing his side and glaring at Bakura. This went unnoticed by the other two as they broke into a game of tag and began weaving around Bakura and Yami. Beginning to think they were off the hook, the vampire duo let out some of the tension they'd been holding as they turned a corner and followed their human halfs down two flights of stairs and doubled back around into another hallway...With no sign of said humans in sight.

"Yuugi?"

"Ryou?" Bakura turned and muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "Hey Yami, do you think this means we can relax?"

"Relax from what, Bakura? They're probably waiting around the corner to pounce on us or something."

Bakura smacked himself. "What did we do to deserve this?"

"We met those two. Say, you never told me how you and Ryou got together, by the way."

Yami caught Bakura's eye and watched him swallow. "Eh, house party?"

"Wait a minute, let me guess. You were trying to rob him, weren't you?" Yami deadpanned.

"Well, not _really_..." Bakura gave up. "Yes. I must say though, Ryou looks good with a gun in his hand."

"Spare me your fantasies, would you?"

They reached the end of the hallway and hesitantly stepped around the next turn, waiting for the attack they knew was coming...

And never came. Blinking, both Yami and Bakura somehow managed to continue walking down another corridor, past many, different, _locked_ doors, until they finally reached the elevator that would take them all the way down to the lobby of this pretend hotel.

"You know," Bakura began, his frustration coming to a head. "If we had just left the usual way, we'd have been spared this headache. I _hate_ these hallways."

"What? Out the window and off the balcony?" Yami raised an eyebrow. "In case you haven't noticed, _Bakura_, we've got a pair of the most outspoken, loudmouthed, and opinionated humans as lovers I have _ever_ seen. If one of us even suggested it, they'd throw a fit. You know that."

"Ai, I do," Bakura pouted, absently rubbing a nick on his ear from where Ryou had thrown a hairdryer at him. Now that was a perfect example of why vampires should _not_ mess with a human in one of their 'moods'. Especially ones they knew intimately.

"Sometimes, I could swear they're women in disguise..."Yami's eyes darted around them. "But you didn't hear that from me."

Bakura snorted. "I wouldn't have that little idiot any other way. And neither would you, yours."

Yami gave a fake gasp. "I think you just admitted your feelings for that 'little idiot' out loud, and to me!...In a roundabout sort of way," he furrowed his brow. "I think."

"Shuddup," Bakura grouched, and pressed the button for the elevator again.

Yami just shifted in his leaning position against the wall and crossed his arms. "You're right, you know," He stated absently, staring at the ceiling. "He's mine. My little idiot. And I love him."

Bakura paused in his demolition-in-progress and released the smile trying to free itself. "Of course I'm right! Ryou...I love him too. Heh, everyone knows that, don't they?"

Yami nodded, not quite sure where this was heading. "They do; probably have known before you even. Not a reason to kill them all, surely?"

Bakura shook his head and looked over at Yami. "Kill them? Why would I want to do that? I'm not ashamed, and I'm not hiding anything!"

The elevator bell rang as the lift finally found its way on their floor. The doors opened then and Bakura pushed Yami aside abruptly. "I LOVE RYOU, DAMNIT!" He screamed into the elevator and pressed the Close Door button before spinning around and setting back up the hallway.

"Bakura?" Yami sputtered, straightening himself and brushing off his clothes from where he'd hit the ground. "Bakura!"

"Oh gods, we're back to that, are we? Bakura!" Yami called. "Pay attention when I'm talking to you!"

"Come on, Pharaoh! I just remembered something!" Bakura called over his shoulder.

"What?" Yami snapped, irritable at the rumples in his clothing and Bakura's sudden secrecy.

"I, uh, think I know where our two lover-boys are." Bakura sounded almost meek.

"What?" Yami's voice was rising and he didn't do anything to stop it. "What was so important that you couldn't have 'remembered' before?"

"Oh, shuddup," Bakura scowled and placed a hand, feeling along the wall devoid of doors as they walked. A couple of minutes later, Yami and Bakura stopped in front of a seemingly plain and ordinary section of wall space.

Bakura moved his hand down along the wall and began feeling for something while Yami stood behind him, impatiently tapping his foot and clearly sending the message, '_Yuugi had better be alright, or else..._'

Bakura must have felt guilty enough, for he started to explain in between his administrations. "I told you about that paranoid architect, right? The guy who built this place right?"

"Right..." Yami's response was slow, but his foot didn't stop tapping.

"I sneaked a couple of changes into his plans, and had them carried out while he wasn't paying attention. Hey, don't look at me that way, Yami. I was _bored_; what else was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, but messing with the plans to a building sure doesn't sound like a _fun_ idea to me."

"No one appreciates the art of a successful mission around here," Bakura pouted. "Anyway, one of things I added in was...A trap door of sorts."

"Trap door?" The foot-tapping stopped.

"Yes, except it isn't actually a trap door. It's basically a section of the hallway that absorbs magical beings and holds them until I can come and take a look at them. Something I picked up from the scrolls I borrowed from that last resident magician."

"_Borrowed_?"

"Hey! I thought it was pretty nifty!"

"Your _thoughts_ have put my lover- and yours!- in a very strange situation. I swear, if he's the worse for wear..."

"Alright, alright! I get it. Now pipe down, Pharaoh. This requires skill."

"Magical beings...Pft," Yami continued to mutter under his breath. "What kind of magical beings use the _stairs_? That's what those goddamned balconies are for, the ones _you_ were to adamant about using!"

"Shut _up_!" Bakura suddenly hissed as he found what he was looked for and _pushed_ his arm into the wall, his hand going through it as if it were liquid. Something clicked, and a foot away from them, the floor unhinged and swung up and outward to reveal...

Ryou and Yuugi, still holding his mystery package under one arm, coughing hard enough to bring up a lung. Both vampires exclaimed in joy and rushed to pull their lovers out and pull them into their warm embrace.

The room suddenly turned cold though, when both Ryou and Yuugi pushed their respective partners away and gave them the glare. The vampires suddenly found themselves very uncomfortable and even slightly apprehensive as to what was coming next. Bakura squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the blow, while Yami hung his head.

Neither noticed as the two humans' expressions crumpled until with one voice, they whined: "What took you so long?"

"I..."Yami began and then raised a finger to point at Bakura. "It's his fault."

Ryou rolled his eyes. "I believe that." He sighed and the turned his head slightly so Yami and Yuugi wouldn't see the wink he gave to Bakura. "I'll deal with this later. We're late enough as it is to that Christmas party."

And they started off again, this time Ryou and Yuugi made sure they were hanging on to their lovers as best they could. An experience such as they had just had- sitting in the dark, not knowing what exactly was scuttling over their hands, and wondering when their air would run out- was not one they wanted to have again any time soon.

Just before the elevator doors closed, Yami suddenly remembered. "Hey Yuugi, what _is_ in that package of yours?"

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-FIN-_


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